Blogging. Ah good old blogging. I've seen so many posts recently describing the hatred for the blogging world. Perhaps hatred is too strong a word but I get it. I get where they're coming from. For me, blogging used to be fun, light hearted and something I enjoyed. I used to get traffic, comments and I always used to check out my favourites and leave comments on the best posts. I always used to scroll through the comments on posts I enjoyed and click on the blogger profiles and stalk bloggers to my hearts content. It was such a good feeling when you finally came across the coolest blogger you'd seen in ages. That's not something I've done or felt in ages.
Fashion bloggers were my favourites, seeing how they'd put together a new outfit and don't get me started on beauty bloggers. I don't remember the last time I bought a product I'd never heard of or read a review on. I felt like I'd found my thing, my calling if you wish. I felt like I belonged. Things my friends would of previously brushed over were considered cool on the internet. This was all before facebook and twitter really blew up before instagram was even a thing. I honestly admire those who can keep up and run social media accounts like they do. I would be so overwhelmed with the notifications let alone time in between work and napping to put together a tweet with no grammatical errors.
There is so much envy and anxiety in the blogging world, bloggers with 5 million pound houses, free holidays and don't get me started on image envy. We all want what we can't have, and who doesn't want a great body with an infectious personality? I'd like to be in the boat shouting "NOT ME" but who am I kidding? I want it all. Self doubt is a slow killer, I spend so much of my time telling myself I'm not good enough, that it is easier to not even bother. It's destroyed all the fun in blogging, just because I don't have a million devoted followers doesn't mean I'm useless. It doesn't mean you're useless either. I don't have the on hand fashion photographer, I have the olympus pen and the 50mm lens but I've had that for years; way, waaaay before it was cool. Don't you hate that? And it doesn't make my photos any better or anything that I'm proud of. Essentially I'm saying I think you've got to have it in you, the motivation and the drive to do something that you're proud of. I can't say that's something I've ever done. Make or do something I've been proud of. A worrying thought and I know I'm not the only one in this boat.
I've been wallowing in self pity for months, it's funny what being knocked down does to you. It wasn't blogging, it's numerous things but I'm bored of it. I'm not blogging for anyone but me and if this doesn't work again then maybe I'll throw the towel in. It's tough when it doesn't feel like anyone believes in you. I don't want this to be a pity party, think of it more of a moan over a bottle of wine after a hard shift at work with your best gals. Blogging is hard. It requires SO much work to get the views, benefits and joy. I admire those who blog full time, or blog with a job. I don't know how you do it! The quality and content out there is fantastic; it blows me away how good it can be and I never want it to stop, we've found our place on the internet and it's just going to grow and grow.
Blogging has changed and I don't think I'm ready for it. I don't feel I'll ever be up there with the brilliant bloggers I admire and stalk every day. I think if I want to continue blogging, I'm gonna have to find my niche and place on the internet. Maybe some more writing style posts? It's not something I've delved into before, too scared to see the response or even if I get a response. I'm going to blog when I want to blog and posting mindless, effortless posts isn't something I want to continue doing so I better change that. I've already written two posts in my drafts so that's a good sign isn't it? I know I'm not alone feeling this but I really don't want to give up. What have you guys done to keep the motivation going? Winter certainly doesn't help but I don't want that to stop me. Any motivation or encouragement would definitely be appreciated. What was it about my blog that made you want to read it?
OK, you can stop rolling your eyes at me now, I've finished my moan! Please do leave a comment and let me know your thoughts on the blogging world, your blog and anything you wish to moan about. X